I got a bit sick, nothing bad, just the flu. I thought about dealing with it myself, but I woke up in the middle of the night as if my head were about to explode, so I got a prescription for three days. Cortisone and amoxicillin seem to fix it really fast, but I feel even more like a volcano in eruption with the cortisone, so I am drinking lots of water with basil, which helps decrease the fire.
It’s my oldest son’s birthday today; Arthur is 28. We just talked, and I am so proud of him and love him so much.
I am not sure why you would subscribe to my journal but if you feel like it…
Constantin and Evi are getting married soon in Corfu but I had a powerful dream about them so for me, they just got married. I had one of the most intense dreams last night that we were doing rituals together to celebrate their union. Intense dreams are almost every night; they feel more real than reality itself, so I guess I actually was with them.
I stared at the full moon for about an hour yesterday. It was incredible. I kept seeing different shapes and forms inside the moon and finally locked into one that became an HD vision. It is difficult to describe it here; it would sound too weird. I really can’t… I need to do it on my circle of trust.
I have had trouble connecting with our cat. For the first time, he became very close to me as I was watching the moon and came to cuddle me for an hour. I heard him tell me, “Finally, you understand what’s important. Congratulations.” Cats are so mystical.
I had dinner with a very old friend and his girlfriend. I talked too much about myself. Then my friend kept talking about how cool I was and asking me for more stories from the jungle. I had to say it again: I don’t want to talk about myself anymore. Yet that’s where the conversation ended up again.
In the past, I would not have even noticed as ego, ourselves, is the #1 addiction. If you’re going to flood my #1 addiction, it’s going to be difficult for me to avoid it. I love talking about myself. Fortunately, I was aware enough to see it throughout (step 1) and managed to turn the conversation to them or other topics, like talking about Japan (step 2). One day I will be able to completely avoid talking about me entirely. The trick is sometimes it’s just what some friends want; they want to hear my stories. This is why I need to write down my stories so I can just give them a newsletter or a book, and then I do not have to say it myself.
The "Aliens Changed My Brain" story doesn’t want to come out. I have been trying to write it for a few days, but I am cautious about feeling enough trust. I guess I will take the bullet and run with it, see what happens. The goal is in the path.
I listened to Gene Keys #2. I really enjoy the Gene Keys, having considered the whole thing bullshit for 3 years. I’m laughing at how I am consistently inconsistent. Gene Keys #2 is about finding direction in one’s life and inside of ourselves. Also, forgiving ourselves for everything we did that wasn’t “good,” saying “there are no mistakes,” and to trust the universe.
Staying on The Hermit tarot card, I don’t need any other right now. I need to stay inside as much as possible and not see many people. I need to listen to my own inside voice.