Anger is a waste of your energy

Anger is mismanagement of one’s energy. The energy is not only wasted but it turns against ourselves when we get angry.

Getting angry and throwing that energy on anyone is hurting us first so it is just not worth it no matter what.

When we attack someone (verbally or more…) because we are angry we escalate and trigger a similar response unless that person is conscious and able to control his or her feelings.

Anger is a very powerful intoxication

It is extremely difficult to avoid when it comes. It takes strength to see it and master it. It is like a gravitational force taking us to lose self control and start using strong words and voice.

1/ recognize the poisonous state of anger we are getting into. It is an intoxication that makes us behave and say things we would not normally.

2/ do not respond with the same attacks or worse, escalate with an even stronger response, which happens because we all have ego and just want to be right.

Escalation starts with words then can go into fights, wars, wasting energy and money hiring and managing lawyers while most issues can just be resolved by talking calmly.

3/ Say the truth as you see it but without a strong voice or words, ideally still with a loving voice or at least a “good melody”

4/ have compassion for the other and why they think this way. Hear their truth. Try by any means to calm down all and de-escalate. It might still end-up in a disagreement, but attacks won’t help and get it into a never-ending vicious circle getting it from bad to worse.

If possible and if you are the one calm, help the person on the other side trigger their empathy and notice that they lost their normal state by being full of anger.

Hopefully it de-escalates and the situation resolves. If it doesn’t and the person stays very angry and keeps attacking, at least be the one not responding back and escalating.

It doesn’t mean you don’t say your truth and maintain your position, but there is most of the time no point in negotiating with someone that just keeps attacking and lost its normal state of being. If it gets really bad, it might be time to just ask the help of a person that could be a mediator or… hire a lawyer if the attacks get to that point.

In any case, let’s write it again - being angry hurts yourself more than anyone you are hoping to hurt.

Keep your energy, don’t waste it, it’s precious and limited.

Thank you Alexandre Tannous for the conversation and thoughts about anger.

Last day to get the early discount for PAWA…