If you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your mother... +"Dry January".
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If you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your mother... +"Dry January".
Greetings from Mexico City, I just landed in transit to my son Gauthier’s wedding.
I am traveling with my mother.
The famous Ram Dass quote came immediately to my mind.
I have had a difficult relationship with my mother most of my life.
I have lots of compassion for her. She lost my sister first to a car accident that damaged my sister’s brain forever then to a cancer many years after that took my sister entirely. She spent most of my childhood and my young adult life dealing with my sister and then the death of my father also from cancer.
Ram Dass is correct, healing relationships with parents is a must.
If I can’t make full peace with her now, have enough compassion to accept everything coming from her and spend time with her without getting triggered or rejecting her often there is no point to any of the spiritual work I have been doing.
I should ask for nothing, yet I asked her kindly only one thing, is to reduce or even stop drinking alcohol when we are together, wine mostly, for a few days.
When we were both drinking, the arguments were constant and full on escalation was common. Now that I stopped two years ago, we argue less. She reduced or stopped a bit and that really helps.
I want to accept her and adapt to her regardless of her enjoying wine or not, wine just makes it harder.
Alcohol magnifies anger, meanness and other unnecessary feelings.
Here is Eckhart Tolle who just posted a video about alcohol and “awakening”.
Eckhart says he enjoys a glass of wine at dinner sometimes, but never more than two, and recommends those who cannot stop once they had one glass to just not take that glass.
There is this new thing I just heard about, “Dry January”. It seems tens of countries are participating in encouraging people to stop drinking in January. That’s great!
Chris Messina does it
It seems the French wine and alcohol lobby managed to prevent the French Government from promoting it in France (thanks for the link, JY). This happens despite the “science to health” public organization INSERM warning how alcohol is bad for us and that there is no evidence that “some wine” would be good for us.
The “French Paradox” does not exist they say, coming straight from a governmental source.
On the contrary they write that alcohol is bad at the very first drop.
I am positive France will embrace the “Dry January” too in the future regardless how powerful the matrix and the lobbies are.
Back to my mother. Accept her entirely as she is and practice equanimity. No reaction whatever she does or say, or answer always with love. It’s a constant meditation work.
It’s been challenging for me. I am working on it and far from where I would like to be in my relationship with her. I should be able to manage the relationship without asking any change from her and be the only one to adapt or change my behavior and what I do or say.
The work I did at Hoffman 6 years ago showed me how I was a mix of all the character traits of both my father and mother. It was very useful for that. This is why parents can trigger so much and sometimes I do trigger my own sons the same way. I have to be conscious as a father too, on the other side of the table.
This is much more difficult than any consciousness work isolated in a retreat or in the jungle, at least it’s my experience. Being alone meditating is easier.
How is your own relationship with your parents and what are you learning from it?
PS
Thanks, David Delaney for having me in your podcast, here is the episode.
If you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your mother... +"Dry January".
Thanks for the shoutout, Loic. I absolutely LOVED catching up with you on my podcast. I've also been sober for 2+ years, so to be included in this is extra special. You continue to inspire!