The mistake of "assuming" what others think

There are no mistakes, only opportunities to learn.

The present is perfect. Whatever happened occurred for a reason.

As I am learning to be more conscious, I try to feel what others think so that I can act better. I try to be always perceiving more myself, my behavior and others around me.

Trying to perceive too much what people think without asking them if needed has been often misleading though.

A “mistake” in the spiritual realms

I also now try to see the world as one. I do consciousness work sometimes in ceremonies and use it as “fast-track” to learn things I can then apply in my daily life.

Here is a funny example of a mistake I thought I did in ceremony where discipline is so important.

I started learning to play guitar only a few years ago while I have never touched an instrument before. My favorite instruments have mostly been my Mac and my iPhone. I love it but honestly, I am a total beginner. It never sounds as I wish it did. I go through phases of playing many hours every day (especially in the jungle) and others when I do not play at all, like now as I am focusing on the conference.

During a ceremony recently I asked if I could play a song and the “space holders” accepted so I played a Yawanawà song I thought I knew well how to sing and play. I realized quickly as I began to sing that I did not like my own voice. In ceremony the perception of voices and instruments is enhanced and I get even more sensitive. My pick was hitting the guitar strings too hard. I did not have the right rhythm. I opened my eyes and saw around me very good musicians that seemed amused with me trying to sound good but really I wasn’t. The more I got into that negative loop the more both my voice and the guitar sounded wrong to me. At the end of the ceremony when the space was open to share our experiences I apologized to the group for playing so bad.

A few hours after the ceremony closed some people came to talk to me and said they liked the song, they liked the fact that I was trying and said I was way too hard on myself and there was no need for an apology. Some actually even liked it :-)

It became very obvious that I had created in my mind entirely that the whole room started being annoyed at me and that I would have misbehaved while most actually enjoyed at least the entertainment of... me just trying!

This is a good example how thoughts control emotions that control actions. If I get in a negative thoughts loop while accomplishing any action then all I do is make my actions worse.

I have been through very similar experiences in “real life” where I assumed someone was really upset at me while he actually wasn’t, for example.

The lessons

-“Assuming” what people think is often completely misleading. I now try to ask directly what that person or group thinks instead of assuming anything.

-Never let myself fall into the trap of the negative thoughts and if I do, get back to focusing only on the present moment and what I am doing currently. If it’s playing guitar, just play it as best as I can.

-Being respectful of any space or group of people I am in is very important, when performing any type of action clearing my own mind and then not worrying at all about what anybody things is even more important. Of course, provided permission was granted to “perform”!

-If it’s building a conference, same. We’re about to announce our first batch of speakers and I am really happy about the beginning of the PAWA Paris melody we are preparing to play through the voice of our speakers and community.

The purpose of playing music for me is in the actual fact of playing it, because you are never done learning and improving anyway. “Le but est dans le chemin” in French… (the goal is in the path itself).

You can also listen to these thoughts with more emotion on this episode of my podcast also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify