Thoughts for food
We think “food for thoughts,” but here is a quote I just reposted on my Instagram account.
When you produce a thought that is full of understanding, forgiveness, and compassion, that thought will immediately have a healing effect on both your physical and mental health and those around you.
If you think a thought that is full of judgment and anger, that thought will immediately poison your body and mind and the people around you.
Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Communicating
So, I immediately bought the book, as my communication skills have been very high on my self-improvement list since my Bwiti Iboga initiation. It’s even one of the main topics presented to me as a must-work-on.
“Do not swear ever. Do not comment about others, do not gossip, do not criticize others. Speak as if your word is sacred," the voice in my head said.
I mostly removed swearing from my vocabulary, even though the five-letter French word “m**de” has been so conditioned since I was a child that I am still struggling to remove it. Commenting about others and criticizing are also deeply conditioned as normal practices, so I’m working hard on them.
I have re-read the “Nonviolent Communication” book a fourth time… I still fail often, especially with family. You know the saying, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your parents.” Yet, I’m a human being. I will keep failing. I am working on failing less as a good step forward.
Thich Nhat Hanh explains very well how it all starts with compassion. Compassion is the shield we use to protect ourselves from anything that triggers us from others, such as anger and judgment, which are “poison.” See the suffering in others and listen to them.
It’s good to see the “poison” in others or our world and practice not reacting and just listening, but it is even more important not to release poison ourselves.
Words are the results of thoughts; controlling our thoughts is the first step.
When we think negatively, feel angry, and speak poison to others, the first thing we should do is get silent and breathe. Breathing is “coming back home.”
The more permanent solution is to have compassion for ourselves. See the suffering that makes us angry or release poison through thoughts and words. It’s harder to see our suffering than the suffering of others.
Seeing and acknowledging that suffering is the start.
There are studies on the benefits of swearing - better out than in, kind of thing - and one interesting finding is that people who swear openly are seen to be more trustworthy. But there is a big difference between saying "damn!" when you accidently miss the nail and hammer your thumb, and when your anger is turned outwards towards others, blaming, shaming, denigrating others. It's good to be conscious of the difference between these two kinds of "profane" expressions. If I curse anyone it is God, because I will be forgiven. She must hear and forgive a lot of swearing.